February 6, 2008

Boston’s Bust-Proof “Trophy” Neighborhoods

Hey, how about that Econ Cat, eh? Right after he says higher-end markets will be more or less untouched by the subprime crisis, this story comes out in the Herald: so-called “trophy communities” seem immune to bust. His mother will be so happy he’s finally started to do something productive with all those years of feline economics school.

True, the article cites towns like Lincoln and Weston, but really, who wants to live out there? You spend an hour and a half stuck in traffic each day, you can’t so much as go to the movies without pumping thirteen tons of CO2 into the atmosphere, and forget finding a decent rueben. And for what - an evening or two each year sitting on the front porch, pretending you’re a king out in the woods, when 150 feet in each direction there’s another guy dreaming up the same harebrained fantasy? Not for me, thanks.

No, it’s tough to get more trophy than The Hill and Back Beezy. The world’s at your fingertips, and honestly, when was the last time you saw a Sudbury McMansion as magnificently appointed as this Back Bay palace? I mean, look at that detailing - straight out of Versailles. Any number of French monarchs could strut through the door and feel right at home.

Of course, such Rococo indulgence is highly un-Bostonian. We were founded by Puritans, after all, and tend to be in too big a rush for turn signals, let alone hand-carved ceiling accents. So maybe this condo on the Flat of the Hill is more your style. The no-nonsense brickwork and copper bay windows are classic Old Boston, and I’m willing to bet you could use that boarded-over window to knock several grand off the price.

Finally, keep in mind that a “trophy community” need not be massive or elaborate; self-reliance and reserve were as familiar to the first Bostonians as wool overcoats and buckle hats. So I present to you Back Bay’s most unassuming studio. It’s parlor level, so no grand views, but no bad furniture hauls, either. The facade is fairly plain, but there are low condo fees. Indeed, the only thing keeping it from Puritanical perfection is its proximity to fun bars and fantastic shops; these will undermine residents’ adherence to temperance and thrift.

photo: The Eastshore Freeway, Berkeley, CA. Derived from an original photo taken by Wikipedia user Minesweeper, May 14, 2005. GNU Free Documentation License, via Wikimedia Commons.