May 19, 2008

Econ Cat Sez: In the Future, We’re All Rich!

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Gee, what would I do without the Boston Globe? All this time, I kept the number of seven-figure homes I look at to a minimum, instead focusing on some bargains here and there. What an idiot I was.

That’s probably why I’m still poor and not one of the massive numbers of people buying really expensive toys because interest rates are low! It’s like a double bonus, too, as low interest rates tend to promote high inflation, so the debt I take on now will be even less when those million dollars become a million pennies!

Maybe, if we’re really lucky, the next administration will appoint Robert Mugabe as Fed Chairman. His trailblazing economic policy of dismantling the private sector, isolating the country, and printing useless money made his country’s currency some of the most worthless in the world! Can you imagine closing out your entire mortgage–principal and interest–with a single bill?

Buy these homes now, then pay them off with the change from your morning latte! Neal Stephenson was right again; hooray for recession and hyperinflation!

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74 Beacon St - $14,950,000
6 beds, 7.5 baths, 8,450 sq. ft.
You want to know how I know the richest of the rich are aware of the coming hyperinflation? Because they resorted to the old grocery store tactic of taking just a bit off the price to make it appear lower. This is the South Slope, people, not a three-pack of Juicy Fruit. If this were my place, I would fire my agent, go FSBO, and put the price up at 15 mil, where it belongs.

36 Beacon St #4 - $799,000
1 bed, 1.5 baths, 1,150 sq. ft.
And here we see it again. This virus seems to span all price ranges. I just don’t see someone comparing this place with a similar listing priced at $800,000, and thinking “oh, wow, this one is so much cheaper!” The .001% price cut just makes the home look less valuable without being any cheaper. Which is too bad, because it’s a sweet place, and the price is decent.

393 Marlborough Street #2 - $335,000
0 beds, 1 baths, 395 sq. ft.
Now these guys did it right. A random looking price, it paradoxically looks like it was precisely calculated, rather than thrown out for buyer appeal. Note also the small, fuzzy photos–almost enough to make you overlook the nearly $850/sq. ft. price tag. And the write up? “Purchase this great property as a in the city”? I don’t even know what that means, but dang if I’m not intrigued.

Back Bay and Beacon Hill: Someone Give me a Nickname

Sweet Digs Boston Home

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